Share Your Best Jokes Here

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  • D/\SH
    Owner - Staff
    • Feb 07
    • 32484

    Share Your Best Jokes Here

    In this section you will post your best jokes. Yeah that was pretty obvious....Right?
  • D/\SH
    Owner - Staff
    • Feb 07
    • 32484

    #2
    Redneck Pickup Lines

    Redneck Pickup Lines!:

    1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

    2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

    3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

    4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out.

    5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.

    6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

    7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

    Man: Fat Penguin! Woman: WHAT? Man: I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

    9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

    10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

    11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

    12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

    and.... the best for last!

    13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench. Every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.

    Comment

    • MikeyD
      Find Em Hot Leave Em Wet
      • Apr 25
      • 1615

      #3
      Re: Redneck Pickup Lines

      Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.

      A very attractive
      blonde woman from South Alabama arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll
      of the dice.

      She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play
      topless.

      With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, 'Come
      on, Southern Girl needs new clothes!'
      As the dice bounced and came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down and
      squealed 'YES! YES! I WON! I WON!'
      She hugged each of the dealers...and then picked up her winnings, and her
      clothes, and quickly departed.

      The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.

      Finally, one of the m asked,
      'What did she roll?'
      The other answered, 'I don't know... I thought you were watching.

      Moral of the story:
      1. Not all Southerners are stupid.

      2. Not all blondes are dumb.

      3. But all men... are men.
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      Comment

      • Mandingo
        Member
        • Nov 09
        • 209

        #4
        Re: Redneck Pickup Lines

        What does Micheal Jackson have in common with Caviar?

        they both come on little crackers...




        sorry in advace!
        sigpic


        Comment

        • slinkerd
          Slinky
          • Mar 09
          • 97

          #5
          Re: Share Your Best Jokes Here

          what do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl?

          a cock that is up all night

          Comment

          • raybond25
            MOD Team HTC/SPJ Canuck
            • Apr 05
            • 1101

            #6
            Re: Share Your Best Jokes Here

            A Scottish old-timer is in a bar, talking to a young man. "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Noooooooooo..."
            Then the old man gestures toward the bar. "Look there at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down with me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-Builder? Nooooooooooo..."
            Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooooooooooooo..."
            Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention. "But ya **** one goat...!"
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            Comment

            • BiG JeW
              ADMIN-Watch what you say!
              • Feb 09
              • 3610

              #7
              Re: Share Your Best Jokes Here

              3 man are stranded on a Island. Desperately trying to figure out a way to get off the island they stumble upon a a Wishing Well at the end of a cliff. As all 3 men look down in to the wishing well, the wishing well out of nowhere responds, " Hello gentlemen, I will grant you 3 wishes, 1 wish each!" The men not knowing what to do start to argue on whether or not to do it! One man franticly starts to runs and then jumps right off the cliff while saying, "I WISH I WAS THE RICHEST MAN!" Anxiously waiting his landfall, he lands in to MONEY, AND GOLD ETC. ETC. The Second man immediately starts to run to-wards the end of the cliff, HE JUMPS, and says "I want all the beautiful women in the world!" While awaiting his fall he lands into a pool full of women fighting over him. The Last Man says to himself, you know something I wanna fly, I always wanted to fly like superman. So he get a good distance from the cliff. He starts to run as fast as he can, he starts to get closer to the cliff, he tries to leap off the cliff , but TRIPS and the man says "OH SHITTTTT" and lands in a PILE OF SHIT!.
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              Comment

              • Mandingo
                Member
                • Nov 09
                • 209

                #8
                Re: Share Your Best Jokes Here

                In our effort to continue educating others on the ebonics language…today’s word is…



                COLOGNE



                When used in a sentence….



                “Ima little short dis month an I was wunnering if you cologne me some money”
                sigpic


                Comment

                • tyson99
                  Member
                  • Jan 12
                  • 8

                  #9
                  Re: Share Your Best Jokes Here

                  Today's Ebonic word from the Louisiana Public School
                  System:

                  OMELETTE

                  Let's use it in a sentence...

                  "I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did,
                  but omelette dis one slide."

                  Comment

                  • lalomartinez
                    Member
                    • Jun 02
                    • 196

                    #10
                    Re: Share Your Best Jokes Here

                    Alright from learning Ebonics, we will also be learning the Chicano language, so today's mexican word of the day; CHINO: I was doing my girlfriend from the back, I stuck my finger in her A S S, and CHINO like it!!
                    Lalo Martinez
                    Norte Califas
                    Bay Area 7OH!7
                    lalomartinez707@gmail.com
                    TMOBILE G1

                    Comment

                    • D/\SH
                      Owner - Staff
                      • Feb 07
                      • 32484

                      #11
                      Re: Share Your Best Jokes Here

                      Originally posted by lalomartinez
                      Alright from learning Ebonics, we will also be learning the Chicano language, so today's mexican word of the day; CHINO: I was doing my girlfriend from the back, I stuck my finger in her A S S, and CHINO like it!!
                      hahahahahahhaa that one actually got me laughing

                      Comment

                      • ikylilboy
                        Member
                        • Dec 23
                        • 7

                        #12
                        Re: Share Your Best Jokes Here

                        Whats the diffrence between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your whole day! Anal sex makes your hole weak!

                        Comment

                        • menikfire
                          Member
                          • Mar 15
                          • 649

                          #13
                          Re: Share Your Best Jokes Here

                          sexual position= The Spartan!!

                          A sexual position where the women is riding a man during intercourse, and right before the man has an orgasm he yells "This is Spartaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!" and kicks the women off the bed. try it!!! lol jk
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                          • menikfire
                            Member
                            • Mar 15
                            • 649

                            #14
                            Re: Share Your Best Jokes Here

                            how do you make lady gaga mad? poker face!!!!! lol
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                            ALL SPJ!!!
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                            • D/\SH
                              Owner - Staff
                              • Feb 07
                              • 32484

                              #15
                              Re: Share Your Best Jokes Here

                              Originally posted by menikfire
                              how do you make lady gaga mad? poker face!!!!! lol
                              hahahahha nicfe i hate that song and they play it too much on the radio :(

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